For those of you who may follow my “blog” you may have noticed things have been changing.  I have voluntarily removed many of the old posts and updated the template (yet again) to better reflect my intentions of presentation for the website.  Over the past years I have purchased many URLs in attempt to display my knowledge as a resource for other system security professionals.  As time has passed these sites have gone undeveloped and have since begun to expire.  I chose not to renew these websites as these websites are not me but a reflection of who I desire to be.  This reflection on the current status of my professional life has acted as a supporting factor in defining my list of steps for a better tomorrow.  The following blog entry documents my attempt at success and lays out my plans for the future.

Several years ago I was a miserable hourly worker who faced daily the challenges of the grocery-retail environment.  The entire event of working in grocery-retail was not a lost cause.  I successfully developed my interpersonal and management skills.  I learned conflict resolution.  I learned to manage my time and to work with others to reach a common cause.  I learned to enforce and support company and governmental compliance and regulatory standards.  Later in life I learned the latter to be my lost and then undetermined ultimate interest.

As years progressed in my grocery-retail reality, I progressed to lower levels of management by putting my higher education off.  Often employees expressed their satisfaction on my management skills.  In most cases I was their favorite.  It was not that I excelled with charm, it was not that I was easy or negligent, it was that I understood how to work with people – I reflected the respect onto my associates that they conveyed to me.  My goal was not to be their friends but to gain their respect as a colleague.  The stress of the fast-paced high-stress environment began to take its toll on my strength and will-power.  Something had to change – I was still missing something.

I decided to transition into loss prevention.  This was an interesting experience.  I learned additional company compliance standards.  I became the auditor, the enforcer, the regulator.  Something about this position filled a gap in my life that I have since not been able to fill successfully.  I often had considered joining the ranks of law enforcement.  I had applied to several different law enforcement agencies and even had tested at a few of these.  I came very close to being accepted to the “list” in Orlando, FL but was later knocked out due to a lack of higher education.  A high school diploma did not cut it.  They preferred college – a proof of learning power.  Something was still missing.  Criminals kept trying to kill me over cheap merchandise.  This was not worth the risk.

I returned to my management duties reassuming my previous position with the company.  To be management again was bitter-sweet.  I again quickly returned to “the best” – my yearly reviews reflected this.  The stress was back but I again had the ability to influence my department and make a difference.  I went back to school.  First re-joining as a Criminal Justice Major, then Business Management, and then Systems Programming.  I eventually did get my degree – it took time, it took dedication.  I worked full time and took a full time class load.  The wait was worth it.  I finally progressed past the retail environment.  No more high-stress environment, no more unappreciated slave labor, no more unskilled labor.  I was ready to join the real world.

New job, new responsibilities… something is STILL missing…

I joined my current employer to assist in compliance documentation (among other things).  I am compliance, I live compliance.  I will admit that it hurts not being management – I miss it every day and feel that I am capable of so much more.  I do not find it appropriate to comment on the experiences and events of my current employment.  I respect my employer.  I do enjoy MOST aspects of my job.  I have learned many new things in my newly assumed environment.   Based on the knowledge and experience I have gained in the field I now have a strong understanding on what I desire in my professional life.  These goals will be posted in subsequent blog posts.

To those who may follow my post do not get me wrong – life is good.  This post is not intended as a bash and should not be taken personally.  I post this only to document the process of my decisions.  To show that I am capable of rational thought.  I will achieve my goals.